Single mothers or just irresponsible fathers?

For what seems like eternity, we wait. We long to behold our baby for the first time. You wonder how they are doing all that time. How are they developing? Is everything OK? You monitor the kicking, growth, development. The clock ticks. The day draws near. Emotions run wild. Anxiety. Excitement. Even Fear. You will be parents to a new born. It’s a joyful time.

Around the corner, it’s the same script but a different cast. A lady all by herself. She is carrying a bundle of joy, but with a faint look in her eyes. A wrinkled face, she has cried a lot. What’s it going to be for my baby? Why doesn’t the father care? She looks so lost in her own world. It’s as if the world is crumbling all around her. She knows too well that she is headed to becoming a social outcast. Single parenthood! The clinic visits! The bills! The burden! She feels all alone.

If children are really a gift from God, why would a man walk away from his own flesh and blood? How can a man ignore the fact that there is someone growing in a lady that he might now NOT want to see, but who happens to be his own DNA? Where is the first love? Where is the love for innocent life?

So finally the baby comes around. The joy cannot be contained. There are countless smiles of adoration in the faces of the family, friends and colleagues. The parents to the new born rejoice. The PARENT to the new born also rejoices. Both forget the pain, the waiting, the journey, and just want to celebrate. But there is a flip side…

Tears flow. Tears of joy; for the couple. Tears of joy and tears of pain for the single parent. So what is love? A feeling that is there today and gone tomorrow? Or, a choice we make? If I cannot feel love for my blood, at least I should BE A MAN. I should own up. I should be able to CHOOSE to love. A man who took pride in his strength, achievements, success; But now a frail image of a pathetic, selfish, cowardly being. I might not want to see the mother, possibly because I never wanted a baby in the first place. It was just sex, not just without strings attached, but without babies attached! Fine! This wasn’t part of the plan. But, does God make mistakes? We do! Why should our own mistakes, be carried on to our baby as if the baby is the “mistake”. He is not! She is not!

The society has done nothing much to make the situation better. Mothers loathe their baby for getting a baby of her own out of wedlock. Fathers hate. God forbid, they even throw out the “NOW EMOTIONALLY WEAK, PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTED” daughter who is at this time in need of PSYCHOLOGICAL and EMOTIONAL support. Friends gossip. They become fewer. The lady has lost her self-worth, by now. There is no hope of getting back together with the baby’s father. We didn’t even want to get married in the first place. So, perish the thought. We can never be a family. Still, He is the father. But where is he?

Young mothers are with us. In church they are sitting next to us. In our neighborhoods we rub shoulders with them. They long to belong. They long for love. Are they any lesser? We are a close knit family. Perfect family, so we think. My daughter’s name is purity, she is pure. She can’t become like our neighbors’. Why worry? So, single mothers remain isolated. Rejected! Separated! Not needed! Unloved! .., and the many more evils that we heap on them. Is there hope for them, or is this the end of their story?....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................{SILENCE}............................................

Phew! Thank God. It’s not the end. The world may conclude our story, but God WONT. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to justify parenthood out of wedlock. But if church is for saints, what are you doing inside? Warming the pews? Hypocrite!

God Himself is the father to the fatherless. He is the husband to the widows. His anger lasts but for a moment, but his favor a lifetime. But what do we, as parents do? We trample upon them. We call them a disgrace. We write them off. How can they even hope to get married some day? HEHEHEHEHEHE! We laugh at the idea, it sounds ridiculous. SHUT UP!!!!! Who are we as a society, religion or social groupings to write off the “broken pots” if you would, when the potter Himself still has clay in His hands?

The baby grows. Their innocence draws back the very people who rejected them. Now the father wants to contest for custody. The grandpa wants to take pride in the grandkid. The society starts to realize their fault. They start to see the potential in the children who were once rejected. They are the top of their class. In Sunday school they prove to be the best. They excel. They once again light up the soul of the very mom who thought that her world was an abyss, full of agony and pain, and that she was seated alone at the bottom……………………………….

When we thought that the story had come to an end………{SILENCE}……………………… we start rewriting……

“He never got to have a surname, yet we write history… HIS STORY.”

OUR SOCIETY IS IN DIRE NEED OF RESPONSIBLE MEN…….. Why are we busy legalizing lethal brews….?

May God have mercy on “THE MAN”