There is something to learn;
In every mistake or good deed,
In every failure or victory,
In every broken or a joyful heart,
In every thought or conversation,
In every relationship or partnership,
In every friendship or enmity.
There is something to learn in every person.
I love Dr. Phil. He is painfully blunt and straight forward. So this time I'm the patient, seated next to him and he blurts out loudly in front of the audience,
"You think of yourself as self-sufficient. You judge almost everything and everyone. It has to be your way or no way. You are always right. You don’t take no for an answer. When you show up, you dominate conversations. When we plan events you’re the coordinator, facilitator, and any other available position. You have no respect for other people’s opinions or feelings. You’re the centre of attraction. In a community initiative, you want to be an individual. When we want to be a team, you want to be your own team."
My jaw drops. If only I was deaf, so I don't get to hear that. The truth hurts.
More often than not we think our problems are around us or in other people, but we are not eager to look within ourselves. It’s easier to point a finger, than to admit wrong-doing. Fault in other people is identified with ease, than the good in them. We trust ourselves so much that we have stopped believing in other people. I watch WWW wrestling. Everyone considers them selves the only champion. Others, perfection {Read Alberto del Rio}. Others, awesome {Read ...The Miz}. There is a fight known as “the submission”, but don’t be cheated, no one submits. Even when beaten, one still beats his own chest and claims to be “The one”. We come short of feeling immortal.
What is it about humanity? We were made to co-exist, but would rather put a hedge around ourselves. We keep a safe distance to protect our “perfect lives”. Jesus taught us a very basic principle, “Do unto others what you’d have them do to you”—Luke 6:31. You don’t have to be a Christian to practice this truth. Our treatment for others is directly proportional to how we ought to be treated. If you treat your brother like a doormat, why in the world would you want a royal treatment yourself? They have a name for it; PRIDE. They also have a phrase for it; Pride comes before a fall.
So I looked under the sun. I found myself judging. I found myself looking at the external. The way he dresses. Where they live. Which community they come from. Just admit it. Like me, you have been at a place where you judged a person based on the external. What we come to learn afterwards is that mostly they are the complete opposite of what we thought they were. Maybe that’s why a man who doesn’t drive is intimidated by a lady who does, and would rather not ask her out. If she earns more than I do, then she is not my type.
Our perception is not always right. Our assumptions mislead us. Our society has made us consume beliefs and notions that have no iota of truth in them. Take, for example, the area of dating; Without naming names, some women or men from certain communities are considered good in sex, others are perceived as good at housework, others are considered lazy, others as either cons, unhygienic, hot-tempered, witches, and the list goes on. If you ask me, it’s irrelevant where a person comes from, when it comes to relating with them. Don’t get me wrong. I do respect the fact that people do have different preferences. But deep down in your heart, you know you look at certain people as lesser than yourself.
So, what’s the problem? The answer is “ME”. Let’s call it the “Me-Syndrome”. Whether you admit it or not, you can never live alone. God thought that Adam would do just fine on his own. He later realized the loneliness that Adam experienced inside. Many of us are “celebrities” to the world, but lonely within ourselves. We have deep flaws and that’s what we chew on when we switch off the lights and retire to bed. They keep us awake. The reason is simple. There are three people that we can never deceive; God, Satan (master deceiver) and ourselves. So I’m I living a lie?
This is what I think I should do;
Admit my inadequacy.
No matter how well we are doing financially, academically or in any other way, we are not complete all by ourselves. We are not self-sufficient! Period!
Realize my need for community.
The truth is; we need others. Well not if you have watched the series “LOST”, where a common phrase is used “The others are coming”, but let me not digress. Bottom line; I need you and you need me.
Choose to belong
Jesus walked on earth. He was and still is “All-Sufficient”. Yet, He chose 12 people (read fishermen, tax collector, doctor etc), to walk with. He actually chose the people that are often looked-down upon. Do I look down on certain people?
Get rid of the “Gain the world” mentality
Jesus Himself asked, “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, but lose his soul”. {Mark 8:36}. Most of us have lost our souls within ourselves. According to our friends we are energetic, full of oomph, living to the fullest. We achieve and accomplish. We concur. We are at the top of “our world”. But deep down with in ourselves, we are lonely and looking for meaning. I might dominate the outside, but if I haven’t dominated myself {Emotions, attitude, ego}, it leaves me empty.
Let God be the judge
Stop judging people. Jesus taught that it’s easy to see the speck in my brother’s eye, while totally ignoring the plank in my own. We really want to help others, either genuinely or out of malice, but we ignore the fact that we too are in dire need of help.
Even when we are treated wrongly, Paul taught, “Do not repay evil for evil, but be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone” {Romans 12:17}. OUCH!! Yeah, I feel the same way, but hey, you want to go to heaven?? Just do it and leave the rest to God. Do not be quick to judge, or jump in to conclusions. Don’t believe every thing you hear. And, be that as it may, I ought to forgive even when I find out about the mistakes of others, of course, unless I’m perfect. I’m not. No one is.
So then, here is my conclusion. We need lessons about attitude, and Jesus is our greatest example.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! {Philippians 2:5-8}
This song humbles me;
I need you, you need me.
We're all a part of God's body.
Stand with me, agree with me.
We're all a part of God's body.
It is his will, that every need be supplied.
You are important to me, I need you to survive.
You are important to me, I need you to survive.
(repeat 3X)
I pray for you, you pray for me.
I love you, I need you to survive.
I won't harm you with words from my mouth.
I love you, I need you to survive.
(repeat 8 X)
It is his will, that every need be supplied.
You are important to me, I need you to survive.
